"...The one who sent me to baptize with water told me....."

John 1:19-28

The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph,  and the infant lying in the manger.

When they saw this, they made known the message  that had been told them about this child.  All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds.  And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.   Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God  for all they had heard and seen,  just as it had been told to them.    When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

"...The one who sent me to baptize with water told me....."

Lord, there was no doubt that you were speaking to John.  He knew it was you.

He spent his whole life in communion with me.  He knew my voice.  He knew his role.  He was never distracted.  He was focused.  He was sanctified in the  womb.  Don't compare yourself to John.

You have come a very long way in these months.  You know more and trust more.  You are holding on to a thread.  Take that leap of faith.  I will catch you if you fall, but you won't fall.

How can that be, I won't fall?  

It means you have the grace, you have the tools, you have the strength and what you don't have now, you will have when the times comes.  It's time to step up to the edge and trust me, trust yourself.  What have I been telling you all these months?

Lord, why do I feel anxiety or fear thinking of this? (Moving beyond where I am spiritually)

Is it fear or adrenaline and excitement for what's ahead?

Maybe but I can't think about it because I can feel my heart pumping and my thoughts racing , the acceleration of my heart.  Right now I see myself at something like a drag race.  I am one of the cars, whose engine is revving withone foot on the accelerator and one on the brake.  What is that about?

You are ready for the race.

What race, Lord?

You'll see.  I'll be there.  You can't have your foot on the brake and the gas at the same time all the time.

What does that mean?

Think about it.

OMG, Maybe that's how I've been living.  Always going, going, going, preparing , preparing, preparing but keeping my foot on the break afraid of really letting go.  Afraid of making a mistake, afraid of not doing it right, afraid someone will know that I made a mistake, that I am a mistake.

You know you are not a mistake.  I do not make mistakes. 

I know that now.  Lord, so what's my problem?

Just do it.  Jump and I'll catch you.