My personal reflection

My personal reflection is usually in the form of a conversation with God and usually includes both sides of the conversation. I know it's weird but that's how the Lord speaks to me.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath

Mark 2:23-28
As Jesus was passing through a field of grain on the sabbath, his disciples began to make a path while picking the heads of grain.  At this the Pharisees said to him, Look, why are they doing what is unlawful on the sabbath?"  He said to them,
"Have you never read
 what David did when he was in need and he and his companions were hungry?  How he went into the house of God when Abiathar was high priest and ate the bread of offering that only the priests could lawfully eat, and shared it with his companions?"  Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.  That is why the Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath."


The sabbath was made for man, not the man fo the sabbath.

Lord, you amaze me every day.  I sat down, read this over a couple of times and thought, 'There's nothing that speaks tyo me today."  And you said, "write " and then it starts to flow.  The sabbath was made for man not the other way around.

Lord, I have spent so many years trying to 'do' all the rules.  I was self righteous and I didn'te even know it.  I looked around and saw the rest of my family living completely immersed in the secular world and I judged them.  In fact I resented them because I was praying for them and they didnd't appreciate it. And I feared they were talking bad abut me because of it.  They may have been.  I don't know. 


I did all those things knowing it was what was required to be a good Catholic, and I had all the knowledge in my head.  I had all the answers and I was faithful.  I guess it was faith because I never felt the love.  I saw those Catholics that were outwardly "in love with the Lord" as Protestants that decided the Church was the real place to be.  I did not understand that the 'rules' were for my own best interest.  All of them! 


I had always thought you were arrogant for wanting to be number one and to be the only reason for living.  It was not until you filled me that day that the scales fell from my yes and I understood that it wasn't for your ego.  It was for me.   For the first time in my life I felt love for you.  I loved you in my head before that, but I never really loved you, not with my head, heart, soul, will, my entire being.  And when I did.  I saw how that was for me, not you!  


When I loved you, you consumed me, flooded me with yourself...pure love.  I no longer do the things I  'should' because I 'should'. I do them out of selfish reasons, because I love you and I want to be close to you.  I want to hear your voice.  I want to feel your love.  I need your consolation and compassion.  I want to spend eternity with you.  All of that sounds so selfish but they tell me it's not.  I guess it does sound selfish.  They tell me that is what I was made for, to love you, serve you and be with you forever.  Without the grace and eyes of faith, it does make you seem pretty self serving. I didn't understand it until I felt it.  


OMG!!  I felt it and you took me to heights I never could have imagined and even today, at times I wonder if it was real.  Even thought I know it was.  Even after the last 20 months.  It's taken me until the last few to start to lose the self righteousness, to become more compassionate, to understand ignorance in others.  


I cannot believe you want me to pray with broken people.  This is one ministry I never wanted to be in.  It is for all those crazy people who are crazy in love with you and not afraid to show it.  Lord, I'm still afraid to show it.

Not for long!!

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