If you wish, you can make me clean.....I do will it

Heal Me Lord

Mark 1:40-45

A leper came to him and kneeling down begged him and said, "If you wish, you can make me clean."  Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand, touched the leper, and said to him,  "I do will it. Be made clean."  The leprosy left him immediately, and he was made clean.  Then, warning him sternly, he dismissed him at once.
Then he said to him, "See that you tell no one anything, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed;  that will be proof for them."  The man went away and began to publicize the whole matter.  He spread the report abroad so that it was impossible for Jesus to enter a town openly.  He remained outside in deserted places, and people kept coming to him from everywhere.

If you wish, you can make me clean.....I do will it

OMG Lord,

I walked into this chapel telling you that if you wanted me to be healed of my fear of priests, you were going to have to speak to me through my scripture meditation!  You did more than that, Lord.  The first sentence blew me away with tears and laughing at how you couldn't have been any more direct than you were.

Lord, I want to be healed of this.  I know you've been healing me of this for over a year now, since it happened.  I know I'm ready Lord, I am tired of that anxiety or fear that stabs me in the gut when certain things happen.  It is like being a child.  Living in the fear that I am going to do something wrong and get yelled at.  Maybe that's why I fear being wrong.   Even now, as soon as I realize I am wrong, it's like I instantly shrink into a tiny little person and want to run and hide and hold my hands over my ears and just cry.  I am a grown up. I can't continue to live like that.  

I believe you have a plan and you've put a certain priest in my path to help me with this.  In fact how is it possible that it turns out to be a priest I did not even know until a few months ago, but one that I had prayed for years ago that he would not leave the priesthood.  And his first 'stint' back is at the parish I go to every morning.  OMG, you are amazing!