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| Lord, I want so much to touch you |
Jesus withdrew toward the sea with his disciples. A large number of people followed from Galilee and from Judea. Hearing what he was doing, a large number of people came to him also from Jerusalem, from Idumea, from beyond the Jordan, and from the neighborhood of Tyre and Sidon. He told his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, so that they would not crush him. He had cured many and, as a result, those who had diseases were pressing upon him to touch him. And whenever unclean spirits saw him they would fall down before him and shout, "You are the Son of God." He warned them sternly not to make him known.
Pressing upon him to touch him
Lord,
I want to touch you. I want you to touch me, to heal me. I can understand their desire to touch you. Would I be one of them pressing to get close to you?
Not so long ago I wouldn't have been, for sure. Not because I didn't want to, not because I didn't love you but because of my own feelings of fear, fear of being one of the unruly, out of control, passionate, desperate people amongh the crowd filled with the deperate desire to touch you, to be healed.
Did they all believe you were God? Probably not, but they were there pressing in on you like the others.
Lord help me let go of this constraint I have put on myself out of fear of being misunderstood. Lord, help me let go of the concern for what others may think of me. I know their perception doesn't change truth.
Help me care more about what you tink than what they think.
Help me just be who I am in all instances with all people. I'm not saying I want to disregard sensibilities but I want to be free.
I can feel the obsessive thoughts going around and around in my head again. Now I know it is the condition and that it will pass. I just have to be patient and I have to be gentle with myself in the mean time. This is the way I am and fighting against it wears me out.
Lord, help me accept who you made me to be while I continue to become a better me within my control and to let go of what is not in my control.
Help me realize it befroe I am in the the middle of the battlefield in my head.
I can see I've made much progress nad when I have the right dosage, I will be able to have more self control in the areas that torment me. Just knowing that helps. This is my cross.
You've told me before. You have given me the grace, the tools, the help form people who care about me. Now I need patience, to wait on you and to wait on the things aht are changing to beocme stable, so I can be more balanced. This is nothing new.
Lord, I am going to work on this last leg (hopefully last leg) of this healing of this wound that has been in the process of healing for so long. I do not know how he can possibly say or do anything that will take away this fear and anxiety that I feel in certain instances. That churing in my heart and the thoughts, self defeating thoughts keep me form your peace, the peace I desire so much. Lord, I know you have already given me all I need. Help me to accept it, use it and move on. I don't know how FJ can help me but I trust you and my experience tells me that I don't need anything other that in this situation.
I need to let it go for now. And when the times comes to act, you will lead me. help me hold on to that, Lord.
Pressing upon him to touch him
Lord,
I want to touch you. I want you to touch me, to heal me. I can understand their desire to touch you. Would I be one of them pressing to get close to you?
Not so long ago I wouldn't have been, for sure. Not because I didn't want to, not because I didn't love you but because of my own feelings of fear, fear of being one of the unruly, out of control, passionate, desperate people amongh the crowd filled with the deperate desire to touch you, to be healed.
Did they all believe you were God? Probably not, but they were there pressing in on you like the others.
Lord help me let go of this constraint I have put on myself out of fear of being misunderstood. Lord, help me let go of the concern for what others may think of me. I know their perception doesn't change truth.
Help me care more about what you tink than what they think.
Help me just be who I am in all instances with all people. I'm not saying I want to disregard sensibilities but I want to be free.
I can feel the obsessive thoughts going around and around in my head again. Now I know it is the condition and that it will pass. I just have to be patient and I have to be gentle with myself in the mean time. This is the way I am and fighting against it wears me out.
Lord, help me accept who you made me to be while I continue to become a better me within my control and to let go of what is not in my control.
Help me realize it befroe I am in the the middle of the battlefield in my head.
I can see I've made much progress nad when I have the right dosage, I will be able to have more self control in the areas that torment me. Just knowing that helps. This is my cross.
You've told me before. You have given me the grace, the tools, the help form people who care about me. Now I need patience, to wait on you and to wait on the things aht are changing to beocme stable, so I can be more balanced. This is nothing new.
Lord, I am going to work on this last leg (hopefully last leg) of this healing of this wound that has been in the process of healing for so long. I do not know how he can possibly say or do anything that will take away this fear and anxiety that I feel in certain instances. That churing in my heart and the thoughts, self defeating thoughts keep me form your peace, the peace I desire so much. Lord, I know you have already given me all I need. Help me to accept it, use it and move on. I don't know how FJ can help me but I trust you and my experience tells me that I don't need anything other that in this situation.
I need to let it go for now. And when the times comes to act, you will lead me. help me hold on to that, Lord.
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