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| I wonder what they think of me |
Jesus went up the mountain and summoned those whom he wanted and they came to him. He appointed Twelve, whom he also named Apostles, that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach
and to have authority to drive out demons: He appointed the Twelve: Simon, whom he named Peter; James, son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James, whom he named Boanerges, that is, sons of thunder; Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus; Thaddeus, Simon the Cananean, and Judas Iscariot who betrayed him.
Lord,
What is this?
These imperfect men were the first men that you had at your side, speaking in your name and even though you were with them, they still fell prey to the devil's temptations in their humanity.
These men screwed up all over the place. They made some big mistakes and you knew they would, yet you chose them. You used them. You loved them. You allowed them to mess up. You chose them for your mission and they did their part imperfectly. They did their job. Their job was not to instantly convert the world, their job was to do their best and move on. They didn't sit around worried about what others thought of them. What many though of them was not loving or beautiful.
You are not judged on what others think of you. You are judged on what I think, what I know. You are shooting for what is humanly impossible and you will only make yourself tired and ineffective. You will lose much ground wasting you time wandering around trying to make everyone like you and understand you. Your job is not to make them understand. That is my job. Your job is to share truth and plant seeds. That's all. Do not worry how they interpret your words and deeds. That is beyond your control and it keeps you from moving on to the next 'field' to be planted.
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