Scatter seeds and wait

Scatter many seeds and don't wait for them to sprout

Mark 4:26-34
Jesus said to the crowds:  "This is how it is with the Kingdom of God; it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how.  Of its own accord the land yields fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.  And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come."  He said, "To what shall we compare the Kingdom of God, or what parable can we use for it?  It is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth.  But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants and puts forth large branches, so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade."  With many such parables he spoke the word to them as they were able to understand it.  Without parables he did not speak to them, but to his own disciples he explained everything in private.

Lord,
I believe you want me to scatter seeds.  I never thought of scattering seeds.  I'm thinking of many seeds knowing that some will grow and bear fruit and some will not.  By planting one seed at a time here and there sparsely watching everyone of them to see if they grow, I'm not using my time wisely or even fruitfully.

Help me let go of this idea that I am responsible for their sprouting and growing.  Help me to not be stingy planting seeds.

J is the main one that I wait and watch for growth and I see none.  Lord, I know you sent her so far away so that I would not keep watching in pain when I do not see growth, not even a little sprout.  It hurts me so bad to sit and wait and see nothing happening.  Lord, I know it has to be your will that she return and I know that she has a free will and she is exercising it.  She is choosing to go with the world.  She has bought into the woulds 'idea' of how to be a good citizen on earth and I believe she is sincerely trying to do that.  I am proud of her devotion to doing that, but her devotion is not to the thing that will give her eternal life but to things that will prolong her life on earth, in the devil's kingdom.

Lord, she doesn't understand my desire to be with you face to face in heaven.  I don't even know if she believes that you are real anymore.  The world is such a strong force a force that entices with "shiny" objects and pulls us away from the 'real thing', you.

Lord, I know there is nothing on this earth that could ever give the pleasure that you have promised, but how do I get her to know it?

She knows it.  She just doesn't want to think about it now because it is not easy to give up the world's empty pleasures and promises.  It is easy to run away from me when all is well.  But when her legs are broken and she cannot run anymore and I pick her up and carry her, she will hear my voice and she will return.  But that time is not here yet.  I am setting the scene that she will not come alone, she will bring others and that takes a while.

Ok Lord, that helps me to persevere in patience and hope and faith.