"'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith."..."I do believe, help my unbelief!"

Lord, help my unbelief

Mark 9:14-29
As Jesus came down from the mountain with Peter, James, John and approached the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and scribes arguing with them.  Immediately on seeing him, the whole crowd was utterly amazed.  They ran up to him and greeted him.   He asked them, "What are you arguing about with them?"  Someone from the crowd answered him, "Teacher, I have brought to you my son possessed by a mute spirit.  Wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, grinds his teeth, and becomes rigid.  I asked your disciples to drive it out, but they were unable to do so."  He said to them in reply, "O faithless generation, how long will I be with you?  How long will I endure you? Bring him to me."   They brought the boy to him.  And when he saw him, the spirit immediately threw the boy into convulsions.  As he fell to the ground, he began to roll around  and foam at the mouth.   Then he questioned his father, "How long has this been happening to him?"   He replied, "Since childhood.  It has often thrown him into fire and into water to kill him.  But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."  Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith."  Then the boy's father cried out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!"  Jesus, on seeing a crowd rapidly gathering, rebuked the unclean spirit and said to it, "Mute and deaf spirit, I command you:  come out of him and never enter him again!"  Shouting and throwing the boy into convulsions, it came out.  He became like a corpse, which caused many to say, "He is dead!"  But Jesus took him by the hand, raised him, and he stood up.  When he entered the house, his disciples asked him in private, "Why could we not drive the spirit out?"  He said to them, "This kind can only come out through prayer."

"'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith."..."I do believe, help my unbelief!"

Lord,
This is where I am the most vulnerable most of the time.  The doubt seeps in slowly after I have a conviction, after I have just made a decision to trust and I feel confident in what I believe. That is when I start to fear that I have just been fooling myself and that I have been arrogant in my belief that you would give me such a gift, the gift of allowing me to hear you so clearly, knowing it is you.  The doubt steals my peace.  Lord, I know that is not you because my heart starts to sink and I feel fear, fear of looking stupid and of being wrong and fooled either by myself or by the evil one.

You should be afraid of not trusting more.  Remember where I am, the goal, the truth, the light. What if you are wrong?  There is no penalty for being wrong, but the doubt eats you up.  Stop it.  Hold on to me even when you are wrong.