Lord, I am tired

Just let me rest awhile

Lord, I am tired.  I am tired of the work involved in getting better.  At this point I wonder if I will ever really get better.  OK, I am better but I want to heal in a way that does not make me feel crazy or worthless or all the other things I carry around.  Now this dealing with the demons is the cherry on top, more like sour grape.

You have allowed these things to surface, but why?

Is's part of your healing.  A necessary part of your healing.  The pain and consequences of the evil that was around and done to you didn't happen in a few short years.  You have been dealing with abuse from your conception through that of FA, two years ago.  That is almost 50 years.  That is a lifetime, at least yours up to now.  Two years is a drop.  But you are going  through it in fast forward.  It is a journey that will take the rest of your life.  Slow down and enjoy the journey.  Don't fret that you are not as far along as you want to be.  You are as far along as I want you to be.  You have to stop and rest on any journey, especially a long one.


You can take another route but you cannot change what you come across on the route you choose.  And when you get lost, you can always find your way back.  I am your GPS.  Just turn to me.


Your anxiety at reaching your destination takes your attention away from the beautiful sights along the way.  The demons are just rocks in your path along the way.  You will soon pass them and find a smooth path for a time.  Don't stop now.  You have come a long way.  Rest but don't stop and don't let anyone convince you to stop.  That is the devil working through whomever or whatever he can to stop you and hold you captive.  Keep going.  You are getting there.  You just don't see it because all you are looking at is the road.