My personal reflection

My personal reflection is usually in the form of a conversation with God and usually includes both sides of the conversation. I know it's weird but that's how the Lord speaks to me.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

O God, be merciful to me a sinner

Luke 18:9-14
He suffered for you
Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.  "Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.  The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, 'O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity - greedy, dishonest, adulterous - or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.'  But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, 'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.'  I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

O God, be merciful to me a sinner

Lord,

Through all of this, I don’t believe I have asked for or believe I deserved your mercy.

It was the demon.  He tormented you night and day.  He convinced you that you were not worthy, that you were tainted even though your sins were not even that severe.  You would not accept my forgiveness and you would not forgive yourself.  You preferred to suffer.  That was not and is not what I want from you.  Yes suffering is a part of life on earth and it does mature you.  But self-imposed suffering has no purpose and does not elevate your maturity and it does not glorify me.  The suffering I allow has a purpose, a purpose that ultimately brings good to the world, even when you cannot see it or know it.  This is where faith comes in.  You have seen the fruits many times, enough times to reinforce your faith.  You just have to remember when you are in the middle of it.  Look for the good, rather than the bad and it will bring you some peace.  It will enable you to persevere.  And that is something that you will need always.

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