What are we going to do?

Every sin committed touches someone somewhere

Many of the Jews who had come to Mary and seen what Jesus had done began to believe in him.  But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done.   So the chief priests and the Pharisees convened the Sanhedrin and said, "What are we going to do?   This man is performing many signs.  If we leave him alone, all will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our land and our nation."  But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, "You know nothing, nor do you consider that it is better for you that one man should die instead of the people, so that the whole nation may not perish."  He did not say this on his own, but since he was high priest for that year, he prophesied that Jesus was going to die for the nation, and not only for the nation, but also to gather into one the dispersed children of God.  So from that day on they planned to kill him.

So Jesus no longer walked about in public among the Jews, but he left for the region near the desert, to a town called Ephraim, and there he remained with his disciples.

Now the Passover of the Jews was near, and many went up from the country to Jerusalem before Passover to purify themselves.  They looked for Jesus and said to one another as they were in the temple area, "What do you think?  That he will not come to the feast?"  

What are we going to do?   

Lord,

It seems that the Pharisees, all the Jews were wait for the Messiah.  It should have been obvious that he was the Messiah.  They were the ones that should have known, they knew the scriptures better than anyone.  They ignored the truth out of their desire to keep their power.  They had what they were looking for in front of their faces and they did not see it or did not want to see it, or did see it but ignored it.

How often is that true for me?  I have the truth or your will in front of me and I choose to do what I want instead.  Why Lord?  When I know that when I reject your will for me, I will suffer.  I am selfish and stupid.

That is human nature.  That is not how I made you, but it is what you become.  Do you see how one person’s sin can and does affect others?  Their sin can affect for all times even into eternity.  One sin can change everything, not just for those close by or immediately.  But it always affects someone somewhere.

Then knowing that why do I still do what I know is wrong?

That is what you have become flawed and sinful.  That is why Jesus came.  He cam eto save you from yourself.

And many there began to believe in him.

Lord, You always catch me when I fall

John 10:31-42
The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus.  Jesus answered them, "I have shown you many good works from my Father.  For which of these are you trying to stone me?"  The Jews answered him, "We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy.  You, a man, are making yourself God."  Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your law, 'I said, 'You are gods?'"  If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came, and Scripture cannot be set aside, can you say that the one whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world blasphemes because I said, 'I am the Son of God?'  If I do not perform my Father's works, do not believe me; but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may realize and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father."  Then they tried again to arrest him; but he escaped from their power.

He went back across the Jordan to the place where John first baptized, and there he remained.  Many came to him and said, "John performed no sign, but everything John said about this man was true."

And many there began to believe in him.

And many there began to believe in him.

Lord,

I a finally getting that it doesn’t matter why I believe or what made me believe, only that I do believe.  I have been so caught up in being perfect, having perfect love and faith, that I missed the point.  Lord, you don’t care how I got here, just that I got here.  That is the purpose of the miracles and prophecies, to bring people to faith.

I have to quit comparing myself to saints.  That always brings me down.  It is amazing how the evil one can take beauty and turn it into misery.  But it is also amazing how you can take that misery  and make it even better than before.  Now that misery is used to bring me closer to you and to my ultimate goal.  That alone is proof that you are God!

You took me, a mess, a broken mess through a rocky road with many, many falls, some from cliffs and some into pits, but you have also rescued me from all those falls and made those falls opportunities for me to become a better person, closer to the person you desire I become.

I know I will not be perfect until I am with you in heaven.

Help me accept, acknowledge and be at peace with that fact.  You have brought me so far, Lord and I know you’ll be with me until my end and beyond.

Before Abraham came to be, I AM." So they picked up stones to throw at him;

John 8:51-59

Must Change Mind, Must Change Mind.....................

Jesus said to the Jews:  "Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death."  So the Jews said to him, "Now we are sure that you are possessed.  Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, 'Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.'  Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?  Or the prophets, who died?  Who do you make yourself out to be?"  Jesus answered, "If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.'  You do not know him, but I know him.  And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar.  But I do know him and I keep his word.  Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad."  So the Jews said to him, "You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?"  Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM."  So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.

Jesus said to the Jews:  "Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death."  So the Jews said to him, "Now we are sure that you are possessed.  Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, 'Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.'  Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?  Or the prophets, who died?  Who do you make yourself out to be?"  Jesus answered, "If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.'  You do not know him, but I know him.  And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar.  But I do know him and I keep his word.  Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad."  So the Jews said to him, "You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?"  Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM."  So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.

Before Abraham came to be, I AM."  So they picked up stones to throw at him;

Lord,

Jesus spoke the truth, you spoke the truth and they hated you for it.  I see this over and over.  You keep showing me this over and over.

I understand the message.  I know what it means for me.  I have to do the same.  Speak the truth without fear and when the stones come flying at me, walk away.  I have to walk away without feeling like a loser, without feeling defeated.  It looks as though you were defeated right an dleft but in your humility you accepted what came and moved on.

I wonder if the thought of it ever crossed your mind again after you moved on.  Your mission was too important for you to dwell on the defeats and rejections.

Lord help me e strong.  Help me let go of the defeats, the rejection, the judgments, my judgments of others and of myself.  Help me conquer the fear that surrounds me and renders me frozen, unable to move, unable to take the needle off the stuck record.  Help me o just turn it off.

I have, but the tune is still running in your head.  How do you get rid of a tune that keeps playing in your head?  You replace it with another one.  That is what Barbara has been telling you.  Put my words on your record player and let them penetrate, resonate, allow them to consume your thoughts.  Yes you are in a better place then you have ever been before, but you must fill the spaces in your head that have become vacant and wants to return to the familiar sounds. Resist.  Your heart is filled.  It is full of my love for you and your love for me, so focus on filling your head with me now.

Lord,

Jesus spoke the truth, you spoke the truth and they hated you for it.  I see this over and over.  You keep showing me this over and over.

I understand the message.  I know what it means for me.  I have to do the same.  Speak the truth without fear and when the stones come flying at me, walk away.  I have to walk away without feeling like a loser, without feeling defeated.  It looks as though you were defeated right and left but in your humility you accepted what came and moved on.

I wonder if the thought of it ever crossed your mind again after you moved on.  Your mission was too important for you to dwell on the defeats and rejections.

Lord help me e strong.  Help me let go of the defeats, the rejection, the judgments, my judgments of others and of myself.  Help me conquer the fear that surrounds me and renders me frozen, unable to move, unable to take the needle off the stuck record.  Help me o just turn it off.

I have, but the tune is still running in your head.  How do you get rid of a tune that keeps playing in your head?  You replace it with another one.  That is what Barbara has been telling you.  Put my words on your record player and let them penetrate, resonate, allow them to consume your thoughts.  Yes you are in a better place then you have ever been before, but you must fill the spaces in your head that have become vacant and wants to return to the familiar sounds. Resist.  Your heart is filled.  It is full of my love for you and your love for me, so focus on filling your head with me now.

Jesus said to the Jews:  "Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever keeps my word will never see death."  So the Jews said to him, "Now we are sure that you are possessed.  Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say, 'Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.'  Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?  Or the prophets, who died?  Who do you make yourself out to be?"  Jesus answered, "If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing; but it is my Father who glorifies me, of whom you say, 'He is our God.'  You do not know him, but I know him.  And if I should say that I do not know him, I would be like you a liar.  But I do know him and I keep his word.  Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day; he saw it and was glad."  So the Jews said to him, "You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?"  Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, before Abraham came to be, I AM."  So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.

Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in a household forever, but a son always remains. So if the Son frees you, then you will truly be free

John 8:31-42

Lord Help Me in My Hour of Need

Jesus said to those Jews who believed in him, "If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  They answered him, "We are descendants of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone.  How can you say, 'You will become free'?"  Jesus answered them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin.  A slave does not remain in a household forever, but a son always remains.  So if the Son frees you, then you will truly be free.  I know that you are descendants of Abraham.  But you are trying to kill me, because my word has no room among you.  I tell you what I have seen in the Father's presence; then do what you have heard from the Father."

They answered and said to him, "Our father is Abraham."  Jesus said to them, "If you were Abraham's children, you would be doing the works of Abraham.  But now you are trying to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God; Abraham did not do this.  You are doing the works of your father!"  So they said to him, "We were not born of fornication.  We have one Father, God."  Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and am here; I did not come on my own, but he sent me.".

Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin.  A slave does not remain in a household forever, but a son always remains.  So if the Son frees you, then you will truly be free

Lord,

Help me accept this and understand it.  If I am a sinner and remain in sin, I am a slave to sin.  Slaves do not receive the inheritance – but sons do.  If I allow Jesus to free me…by accepting him as God and believe and turn to him away from sin, I can be a son/daughter of God and receive the inheritance.

Jesus has set me free, but I have not accepted that freedom.  I have remained in my sin, sin of listening to the lies of the devil and believing them and judging myself.

Now I know what FM has been trying to tell me.  I didn’t see or realize the sin of giving in to the lies and not resisting, giving him control of my mind and my heart…because those hateful beliefs hurt my heart.

I believed his lies that I was no good no matter what others told me.  I believed they were mistaken or lying.

My God, help me resist those lies from now on.

I do nothing on my own… The one who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him

Quit Listening to his LIES!!!

John 8:21-30

Jesus said to the Pharisees:  "I am going away and you will look for me, but you will die in your sin.  Where I am going you cannot come."  So the Jews said, "He is not going to kill himself, is he, because he said, 'Where I am going you cannot come'?"  He said to them, "You belong to what is below, I belong to what is above.  You belong to this world, but I do not belong to this world.  That is why I told you that you will die in your sins.  For if you do not believe that I AM, you will die in your sins."  So they said to him, "Who are you?"  Jesus said to them, "What I told you from the beginning.  I have much to say about you in condemnation.  But the one who sent me is true, and what I heard from him I tell the world."  They did not realize that he was speaking to them of the Father.  So Jesus said to them, "When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will realize that I AM, and that I do nothing on my own, but I say only what the Father taught me.  The one who sent me is with me.   He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him."  Because he spoke this way, many came to believe in him.

 I do nothing on my own… The one who sent me is with me.   He has not left me alone, because I always do what is pleasing to him

Lord,

You were God, are God and yet you were subject to the Father.  You did not follow your own will, but looked to him to lead you in everything.  Your trust was complete.  You trusted that even when his will was contrary to your own or even contrary to logic and reason, it was his will and you trusted that whatever it was, it was best for you and the world.

The worst thing that could happen on earth happened to you.  The most Innocent human to walk the earth and that most heinous crime against you led to the most beautiful ting on earth, your Resurrection and the freedom and salvation of those who follow you.

Lord, I now that I am never alone, that you are here with me always, even when I do not feel you and when I do not understand the evil and when injustice that comes upon me.  Lord, help me to always hold on to that knowledge and faith.

Yesterday was a terrible day where I camped out with evil ones all around me shouting their lies and taunting me and filling me with fear and doubt which lead me into tan anxiety that completely stole my peace.  I failed to keep my boundaries up and to keep my eyes on you.  I allowed my eyes to drop and look around at all the evil tat wants to steal my soul.  The evil that hates me and hates you.  I was so weak.

That is why you must take care of your body as well as the rest of you.  It all works together and when you neglect one area, they all suffer, like the body of Christ.  When one suffers, all suffer

Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God

I know you will carry out any job I give you!

 Luke 1:26-38

The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a town of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David, and the virgin's name was Mary.  And coming to her, he said, "Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you."  But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.  Then the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.  Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father, and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever, and of his Kingdom there will be no end."  But Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I have no relations with a man?"  And the angel said to her in reply, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.  Therefore the child to be born will be called holy, the Son of God.  And behold, Elizabeth, your relative, has also conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren; for nothing will be impossible for God."  Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.  May it be done to me according to your word."  Then the angel departed from her.

You have found favor with God

Lord,

I so often fear what you will ask me to do next.  With all that’s happened to me lately it has to be big.  Yet I know I can do whatever it is because I know you will give me the grace to carry it out, but I also know that it may not be appealing to me.  So often it is something that stretches my heart and puts me beyond my comfort zone into a desert where I am alone among unseen critters that could appear at any time.  I do not fear what they can do to me, but I fear the unknown and the surprises of there appearance and their ugliness gives them power over me.  My fear is mostly in the anticipation of their appearance and sometimes they don’t show up and I’ve wasted all that time and energy waiting which actually takes my focus off the task at hand.  If I trusted you and your plan completely I would go out there and do what you’ve asked and move on, but to where I feel comfort and it won’t be where I started but further along the path.  You keep leading me beyond what I believe are my limits and you are always there and I know you are there but I still fear.

It’s okay.  You always push past the fear and do it anyway.

Lord, so often I do I any ways because I know that if I don’t I will get the opportunity again and things will not turn out the way that is best for me.  I have too much experience with that, to know.  Lord, I am sorry I don’t do it purely out of love for you.  I do it out of fear of the consequences.

That is okay, that is a step along the way.  I am not disappointed.  I ask you to do many uncomfortable, yet important things because I know you will, I trust you.

Woe, you trust me?

Yes I trust you and your love and your determination and your tenacity.  I know you will carry out any job I give you and you know I give you the grace, even when you are scared.  Your no’s always turn into yeses.

Now is the time of judgment on this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out

John 12:20-33

Suffering Brings The Children to the Father

Some Greeks who had come to worship at the Passover Feast came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, "Sir, we would like to see Jesus."  Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus.  Jesus answered them, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.  Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.  Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be.  The Father will honor whoever serves me.

"I am troubled now. Yet what should I say?  'Father, save me from this hour?'  But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name."  Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it and will glorify it again."  The crowd there heard it and said it was thunder; but others said, "An angel has spoken to him."  Jesus answered and said, "This voice did not come for my sake but for yours.  Now is the time of judgment on this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out.  And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself."  He said this indicating the kind of death he would die.

Now is the time of judgment on this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out

Lord,

Now is the time.  But Lord, it seems that he is only getting stronger and stronger on earth and in this country.  He and all his evil spirits are getting closer and closer and seem to be increasing. 

They have conquered much of the world.  And it is evident in those places where evil ran rampantly, you can see how it has died and what follows is a people so desperate they come to me, their last hope.  They have no where to turn, now where to go.  That will happen there as well.  You the people in America, have been given everything, like spoiled children and they have grown farther and farther from me.  Many souls are on their way to hell in your country.  And many faithful souls have neglected to do their part in spreading the gospel, sharing the good news.  Material things are not the only thing you were commanded to share with the poor.  The truth is more important.  Yest the essentials of life are very important, but the truth is the most important because it saves sols  And as a side effect it will also save human life on earth because with love also comes compassion, generosity and selflessness.

The evils that prevent my love, compassion, forgiveness and truth will take many with it but in the wake many souls on the path to perdition will be saved because they will have no where else to turn but to me.

You must share the gospel news or you are p[art of the evil that permeates this world and this country.

Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him?

John 7:40-53

When God became man, he gave up His power, 

Some in the crowd who heard these words of Jesus said, "This is truly the Prophet."  Others said, "This is the Christ."  But others said, "The Christ will not come from Galilee, will he?  Does not Scripture say that the Christ will be of David's family and come from Bethlehem, the village where David lived?"  So a division occurred in the crowd because of him.  Some of them even wanted to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him.

So the guards went to the chief priests and Pharisees, who asked them, "Why did you not bring him?"  The guards answered, "Never before has anyone spoken like this man."  So the Pharisees answered them, "Have you also been deceived?  Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him?  But this crowd, which does not know the law, is accursed."  Nicodemus, one of their members who had come to him earlier, said to them, "Does our law condemn a man before it first hears him and finds out what he is doing?"  They answered and said to him, "You are not from Galilee also, are you?  Look and see that no prophet arises from Galilee."

Then each went to his own house.

Have any of the authorities or the Pharisees believed in him?

This is prejudice in its rawest form, but even that is a cover for their evil design.  It is not because of where he is or is not from.  It is about power.  If Christ were to come, they would lose their power and their power was who they were, who they esteemed to be. And that was pure pride.  The same sin that did satan in.  He wanted to be top dog and so did they.

Lord, what power is it that I don’t want to give up?

You want to be liked and understood by all.

How is that a power?

Influence, if you have everyone’s admiration you have influence even if you do not hold a high position.

That is pride and that is unreasonable.  If God himself could not attain those things how can you?  You’re setting yourself up for failure and that will hold you down.  That goal will never be reached on earth and you will always fail if you do not change your attitude.  I do not want that for you.  I want self-love and self-acceptance for you.  Those are two things that will get you closer to the goal of letting go of that desire or expectation you have for yourself. 

You still have to be easy on yourself.  Stop judging yourself and comparing yourself to others.  That will keep you from being who you are.  That will keep you from being successful in the plan I have for you.

One who sent me, whom you do not know, is true

Choose Freedom!

John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30
Jesus moved about within Galilee; he did not wish to travel in Judea, because the Jews were trying to kill him.  But the Jewish feast of Tabernacles was near.

But when his brothers had gone up to the feast, he himself also went up, not openly but as it were in secret.

Some of the inhabitants of Jerusalem said, "Is he not the one they are trying to kill?  And look, he is speaking openly and they say nothing to him.  Could the authorities have realized that he is the Christ?  But we know where he is from.  When the Christ comes, no one will know where he is from."  So Jesus cried out in the temple area as he was teaching and said, "You know me and also know where I am from.  Yet I did not come on my own, but the one who sent me, whom you do not know, is true.  I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me."  So they tried to arrest him, but no one laid a hand upon him, because his hour had not yet come.

One who sent me, whom you do not know, is true

Lord,

Sometimes I struggle with my faith.  Sometimes it all seems too unreal.  Yet there are signs and even proofs but I lose faith.

That will lessen as you grow farther from the demon.  You are free of him but you still have residue of the habits and memories he filled you with.  You will have to counter the lies he has filled you with all these years.  He is gone but he still has an effect on you and it is up to you to wash it away from your memories and ways.

I have set you free but you must accept it and grasp it completely or you will keep yourself in bondage.  You have done well, but the work begins to change, change the thoughts that have been engraved on your mind and heart.  You have to mentally and purposely scrub them away and reject them as they come up and not dwell on them.  When you dwell on them you give them power.  And that power keeps you trapped.

That is what I want you to change now.  Your mind, this will not be the battle you’ve been fighting. 

This will be much easier, if you wipe it out like dust, while it is only dust, before it has a chance to cling.

Okay Lord,, help me.

I always help you.  I am always at your side, but sometimes I am there praying for you to persevere and have strength. And when you do not I am there to hold you and soothe you and offer you the strength and perseverance to try again.  You never stay down long.

You accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God

God's approval is all that matters

John 5:31-47
Jesus said to the Jews:  "If I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is not true.  But there is another who testifies on my behalf, and I know that the testimony he gives on my behalf is true.  You sent emissaries to John, and he testified to the truth.  I do not accept human testimony, but I say this so that you may be saved.  He was a burning and shining lamp, and for a while you were content to rejoice in his light.  But I have testimony greater than John's.  The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me.  Moreover, the Father who sent me has testified on my behalf.  But you have never heard his voice nor seen his form, and you do not have his word remaining in you, because you do not believe in the one whom he has sent.  You search the Scriptures, because you think you have eternal life through them; even they testify on my behalf.  But you do not want to come to me to have life.

"I do not accept human praise; moreover, I know that you do not have the love of God in you.  I came in the name of my Father, but you do not accept me; yet if another comes in his own name, you will accept him.  How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?  Do not think that I will accuse you before the Father:  the one who will accuse you is Moses, in whom you have placed your hope.  For if you had believed Moses, you would have believed me, because he wrote about me.  But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?"

You accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God

Lord,

This has been a stumbling block for so long.  It has controlled me for so long.  But now that the demon is gone, that desire or the extremeness of it has dissipated but it is not gone.  I do not want to seek the approval of others, only yours, yet I still desire human acceptance.

That is human and it is not bad unless it keeps you from seeking the approval of God.  Your reputation is important but not at the cost of your relationship with me.  Others will always judge you.  It does not matter what you do.  There will always be those that do not accept you or will be jealous and judge you unjustly but their judgments cannot hurt your soul. It may hurt your feelings but you cannot allow it to stop you from my will, my desire for your happiness.  You know you have never been happy receiving the praise of others.

Yes it feels good for a time, but it does not last and then you seek it again.  With me that is not so.  I always accept you and love you no matter what.

"I cannot do anything on my own… I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me."

Rest, just rest

John 5:17-30
Jesus answered the Jews:   "My Father is at work until now, so I am at work."  For this reason they tried all the more to kill him, because he not only broke the sabbath but he also called God his own father, making himself equal to God.

Jesus answered and said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, the Son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for what he does, the Son will do also.  For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything that he himself does, and he will show him greater works than these, so that you may be amazed.  For just as the Father raises the dead and gives life, so also does the Son give life to whomever he wishes.  Nor does the Father judge anyone, but he has given all judgment to the Son, so that all may honor the Son just as they honor the Father.  Whoever does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him.  Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes in the one who sent me has eternal life and will not come to condemnation, but has passed from death to life.  Amen, amen, I say to you, the hour is coming and is now here when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.  For just as the Father has life in himself, so also he gave to the Son the possession of life in himself.  And he gave him power to exercise judgment, because he is the Son of Man.  Do not be amazed at this, because the hour is coming in which all who are in the tombs will hear his voice and will come out, those who have done good deeds to the resurrection of life, but those who have done wicked deeds to the resurrection of condemnation.

"I cannot do anything on my own; I judge as I hear, and my judgment is just, because I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me."

"I cannot do anything on my own… I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me."

Lord,

I know I cannot do anything on my own.  I want so much to be pleasing to you.  I want so much to do your will, but as I sit here I wonder if I am.  You want me to get more rest but I  wake up earlier and earlier to get here earlier and earlier.  And I am sleepy before I even get out of the door to come here.  I was afraid it was mania, but maybe it’s not because I am sleepy.  Lord, I do not want that to come back.  I want these feelings of excitement and love for you to be just that, not a chemical imbalance.

What did Dr. M tell you?

That there is no mental disorder that makes you love God more.

OK, Lord, that is true, so it must be genuine feelings of love.  Help me sleep more at night so there will be no question.

I will but you must train yourself.  Focus on rest for now.  You must rest.

I want to Lord, help me.

This is as important as any other aspect of your physical health and it will help the others.

I did not believe that before, but I do now.  Help me Lord.

Jesus was the one who had made him well

John 5:1-16

You are a seed scatterer, don't worry about the harvest

There was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  Now there is in Jerusalem at the Sheep Gate a pool called in Hebrew Bethesda, with five porticoes.  In these lay a large number of ill, blind, lame, and crippled.  One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?"  The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up;  while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me."  Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your mat, and walk."  Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked.

Now that day was a sabbath.  So the Jews said to the man who was cured, "It is the sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to carry your mat."  He answered them, "The man who made me well told me, 'Take up your mat and walk.'"  They asked him, "Who is the man who told you, 'Take it up and walk?'"  The man who was healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had slipped away, since there was a crowd there.  After this Jesus found him in the temple area and said to him, "Look, you are well; do not sin any more, so that nothing worse may happen to you."  The man went and told the Jews that Jesus was the one who had made him well.  Therefore, the Jews began to persecute Jesus because he did this on a sabbath.

Jesus was the one who had made him well

Lord,

You are the one who made me.  I don’t understand it, but I know it was you.  You were so discrete; I did not even know you were there.  No, I did know you were there with me in the confessional.  You are always in the confessional.  I wonder if that is a reason I love the confessional.    No, I don’t think so because I I know beyond a doubt that you are here with me in the chapel but I also know you are with me out there, always.  I don’t just believe it, I know it.  I have experienced you, I have felt your presence and even when I do not ‘feel’ you, I know you are there. 

Lord, my heart is so full of love for you.  It is swollen with that love.  Why are you so generous to me?

I love you.  I want to make you stronger, stronger in every way.

Lord, you love everyone.

Everyone is different and everyone’s needs and experiences are different and everyone has their own ways and will. I am there for all, but few know it the way you do.  Many do not want to believe.  Many want to control their lives themselves and they make messes of their lives and those around them.  Some learn from those experiences and some do not.

I love them all and I wait for them all.  Some come and some do not.  They all have a free will.  I am at peace with it and so should you be.  It is completely out of your hands.  You are a seed scatterer.  That’s all I’m asking from you.  Don’t forget and get discouraged when you do not see the crop.  You are not meant to see the crop.  That is where faith comes in.  Know that your work is not in vain and let go, move on.

it is through the Holy Spirit

Pride and Vanity

Matthew 1:16, 18-21, 24
Jacob was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary.  Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ.

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about.  When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit.  Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly.  Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.  For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.  She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."  When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took his wife into his home.

 it is through the Holy Spirit 

Lord,

So often I have wondered how those in the stories of the Bible knew it was you.  How the prophets knew it was you, how the saints knew it was you, how Joseph knew it was you in his dream.  Why do people take those words spoken by these people as truly coming from you?  How these people knew it was you.  But at the same time so many doubted them, at the time but many did not believe until they looked back and put all the pieces together and even then there are plenty who do not believe.

Lord, I see that they themselves knew because they knew.  And they did not allow the doubt of others to infect themselves.  They stayed true to you, through all the evil that was done to them.  They stayed true to you even if they ran from you at times.  I can totally understand why they ran from you at times.  This world has a powerful pull.  Pride and vanity are the most serious evils in this world.  Those two sins, I believe, control this world.  At least from my perspective and maybe it is only my perspective because those are the two sins that have held me captive for so long.  They have been beneath so many of my actions and inactions, my fears, my self-righteousness, even my religiosity and scrupulosity.

Lord, help me to trust you more and to trust me more.    Help me trust what I know no matter what others may believe.  Help me let go of my pride and vanity, of caring what others think of me, of seeking their approval.

Lord, I am walking in unfamiliar territory; help me to keep my eyes on you, to quit looking down and to quit looking to others for their approval and acceptance.  Help me see that I am a gift to the world as much as anyone else.  Hel p me see and used the gifts you’ve given me.  Help me accept others for who and what they are right now.  Help me love others in their imperfection no matter who they are.  Help me live in reality and accept it for what it is, not what I wish it to be.

I will, I am, I do

And one more thing, help me be patient with myself and others.  AMEN

Whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.

John 3:14-21

Lord, help me replace these thoughts with your thoughts

Jesus said to Nicodemus:  "Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life."

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.  Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God.  And this is the verdict, that the light came into the world, but people preferred darkness to light, because their works were evil.  For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed.  But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.

Whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God. 

Lord,

I lived in darkness for so long.  I did not want to but I did.  I do not understand how I got there, only that it became home for so long.  Lord, I do not understand how this thing got inside me and how it controlled me in a way that was really not under his control but steered me toward the evil with the constant hateful thoughts.  Lord, decades of that negativity affected every aspect of my life and I didn’t even know it.

Lord, I want to stay in the light, in your light.  I want to get used to  it and I want to be at home there.

You will.  It just takes time. 

Lord, what was that all about all these years?

It was darkness.  You experienced a darkness that is unseen.  You didn’t even see it because it was all you knew.  Those thoughts that kept you doubting, that kept you in turmoil are gone.  But you have to live with their effect until you can transform your thoughts which will transform your actions, which will transform your life.  It all takes time thought.  Give yourself time.

O God, be merciful to me a sinner

Luke 18:9-14

He suffered for you

Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else.  "Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector.  The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, 'O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity - greedy, dishonest, adulterous - or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.'  But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, 'O God, be merciful to me a sinner.'  I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

O God, be merciful to me a sinner

Lord,

Through all of this, I don’t believe I have asked for or believe I deserved your mercy.

It was the demon.  He tormented you night and day.  He convinced you that you were not worthy, that you were tainted even though your sins were not even that severe.  You would not accept my forgiveness and you would not forgive yourself.  You preferred to suffer.  That was not and is not what I want from you.  Yes suffering is a part of life on earth and it does mature you.  But self-imposed suffering has no purpose and does not elevate your maturity and it does not glorify me.  The suffering I allow has a purpose, a purpose that ultimately brings good to the world, even when you cannot see it or know it.  This is where faith comes in.  You have seen the fruits many times, enough times to reinforce your faith.  You just have to remember when you are in the middle of it.  Look for the good, rather than the bad and it will bring you some peace.  It will enable you to persevere.  And that is something that you will need always.

Love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, with all your strength

If evil can attack Jesus, it attacks me

Mark 12:28-34
One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him, "Which is the first of all the commandments?"  Jesus replied, "The first is this:  Hear, O Israel!  The Lord our God is Lord alone!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,  with all your soul,  with all your mind,  and with all your strength.  The second is this:  You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no other commandment greater than these."  The scribe said to him, "Well said, teacher.  You are right in saying, He is One and there is no other than he.  And to, and to love your neighbor as yourself is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."  And when Jesus saw that he answered with understanding, he said to him, "You are not far from the Kingdom of God."  And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

 Love him with all your heart, with all your understanding,  with all your strength

Lord,

For so long I did not understand how it was possible to love you completely and above all.  And I thought it was arrogance on your part to desire that.

But now I understand that when I do that, it actually fills me with all good things that can be experienced within a soul.  It is so beyond understanding because it seems to be contrary to logic.  But Lord, I know it’s true because I have experienced it.  And it was a gift from you.  It is impossible in this world to understand you and your ways.  You are not human; you do not have the limitations we have.  It is hard to believe, truly believe what we haven’t experienced.  This just blows me away.  The way you set me free of that demon that was inside me all these years orchestrating my thoughts and beliefs.  That demon wasn’t just on one shoulder but it was buzzing all around me and so often it took my attention away from what was true because my experience somehow seemed to be contrary to truth.  I don’t know why you allowed it but all I can think of is that taking it away showed me it’s reality.

And this buzzing that I just heard, as I sat here was a reminder that I am not invincible to them.  It tells me they are still there.  They are out there and they want back in and they are angry and they will not quit trying so I have to hold on to that truth and not allow it to drop form my memory.  I have to  remain vigilant  and not allow them from the outside back in.  They are still there but they have lost much power by being kicked out.  But they are still there, out there waiting.  But now I have knowledge of them and that gives me power and I have you and that gives me real power. 

Thank you Lord for this gift of knowledge.

Divided against himself

Lord, I choose to live in your light!

Luke 11:14-23
Jesus was driving out a demon that was mute, and when the demon had gone out, the mute man spoke and the crowds were amazed.  Some of them said, "By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons."  Others, to test him, asked him for a sign from heaven.  But he knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste and house will fall against house.  And if Satan is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand?  For you say that it is by Beelzebul that I drive out demons.  If I, then, drive out demons by Beelzebul, by whom do your own people drive them out?  Therefore they will be your judges.  But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you.  When a strong man fully armed guards his palace, his possessions are safe.  But when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils.  Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."

Divided against himself

Lord,

I have been a house divided against itself.  I have had this inner battle going on for so long.  It has drained me of energy and stolen my peace.  It was as if wormwood has been living in my head all these years.  I was afraid that when it left I would be left with silence.  But that did not happen.  Lord, I can still hear you and my voice is less muffled.  I know he will always try to get me but I will never be weak like that again.  I will not allow his lies to take me into the depths of hell.  I will live in your light.  I will bask in your sunshine.  I will fear no evil because I know you are there and you are stronger than any evil spirit.

Lord, I am going to put off going deeper into my life for a while.  I will not quit trying to clear out the gook that’s been hiding even deeper than I imagined.

You have delivered me from the evil that I could not get away from because it was within me.

Lord, I will need your grace to continue to live in this light that has blinded me for so long.  And I know it will be there.  Fill me Lord, with renewed hope and faith and help me love the way you love.

Now I will rest a while.

Not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law,.. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.

Truth is not relative, it does not change

Matthew 5:17-19
Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.  I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.  Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place.  Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven.  But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven."

Not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law,.. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.

These laws are not going to change.  The laws of morality are set in stone.  They cannot be nullified or changed.  No matter what a person chooses to believe.  Truth does not change.  You must hold fast to truth and teach it.  Teach it with love and patience, non-judgmentally.  Share it with gentleness and know it is not you but me working through you.  And know that any results are not your concern.  You are merely the messenger.  That is your job.  The messenger is love and must be given in love, nothing else.

Listen to my voice and I will lead you.   I will show you where and to whom to go.  I will tell you what and how to approach and speak.  All you need to do is listen and obey.  And let go of any concern for how others perceive you or your actions when you are doing what I command, what I ask.  And just trust me and trust yourself.

You will feel more peace.  More than you’ve had in a long time.

Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?

Matthew 18:21-35

just walk away

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?  As many as seven times?"  Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.  That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants.  When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.  Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.  At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.'  Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.  When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount.  He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.'  Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'  But he refused.  Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt.  Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair.  His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.  Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?'  Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.  So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart."

Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? 

Lord,

FA comes to mind.  I know I am so close to being there with the forgiveness but I am not quite there.  Lord, I want the peace that I know it will give me.  I want to let it all go.

Then you have to let it go.  Give up your desire for reconciliation.  That is the only thing holding you back.  If it is to be, it will be.  But that hope, hope in him is holding you back from the complete healing.  You have done all you can.  You’ve asked for and received forgiveness from me for all your part in the months that followed.  You’ve asked him, back then and that’s all you can do.  Trust that I have forgiven you and that whatever he feels or doesn’t feel, that wherever he is with this at this point is all about him and his brokenness.

You can continue to pray for him.  Always pray for him but let it go.  Don’t worry about asking him to forgive you or to make a plea for his understanding.  That is the only bond that keeps you attached in any way.  Let those ties dissolve like a string made of sugar stretched across the sea.  Let it fall and dissolve in the water.  Cut the tie and let him go his way and you go yours in peace.  Keep praying and lowering it and it will be submerged and gone and the pull, the tightness of the line will fade.  Nothing will be holding you back any longer.  There will be no restraint, nothing to keep you stuck in that same place where you've been trampling the ground and become stuck in the muck.  You will be able to kick off your shoes and walk away, barefoot and free.

No prophet is accepted in his own native place

Luke 4:24-30

Misunderstood!?

Jesus said to the people in the synagogue at Nazareth:  "Amen, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place.  Indeed, I tell you, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah when the sky was closed for three and a half years and a severe famine spread over the entire land.  It was to none of these that Elijah was sent, but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon.  Again, there were many lepers in Israel during the time of Elisha the prophet; yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian."  When the people in the synagogue heard this, they were all filled with fury.  They rose up, drove him out of the town, and led him to the brow of the hill on which their town had been built, to hurl him down headlong.  But he passed through the midst of them and went away.

No prophet is accepted in his own native place

Lord,

I am not saying I am a prophet but I completely understand that.

B doesn’t understand all this.  He won’t listen to me or try to understand.  He just goes about his day looking outside and comment on the changes he sees out there.

I cannot share with J because she no longer believes in you.  The rest of my family would definitely think I’ went off the deep end and maybe they would be right.

Jesus would not trust himself to them… He himself understood it well

John 2:13-25

Vulnerability??

Since the Passover of the Jews was near, Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, as well as the money changers seated there.  He made a whip out of cords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen, and spilled the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables, and to those who sold doves he said, "Take these out of here, and stop making my Father's house a marketplace."  His disciples recalled the words of Scripture; Zeal for your house will consume me.  At this the Jews answered and said to him, "What sign can you show us for doing this?"  Jesus answered and said to them, "Destroy this temple and in three days I will raise it up."  The Jews said, "This temple has been under construction for forty-six years, and you will raise it up in three days?"  But he was speaking about the temple of his body.  Therefore, when he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this, and they came to believe the Scripture and the word Jesus had spoken.

While he was in Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, many began to believe in his name when they saw the signs he was doing.  But Jesus would not trust himself to them because he knew them all, and did not need anyone to testify about human nature.  He himself understood it well.

Jesus would not trust himself to them… He himself understood it well

Lord,

I trust too much.  I know human nature yet there is this compulsion to share too much and with the wrong people.

Lord, how do I know?

With your heart but also with your mind, your reason, your experience.  You have to use it all and discern who to trust with how much.  You can hold back but you cannot take back.  Once it is out there you are vulnerable.  Don’ts make yourself vulnerable.  Your vulnerability opens you up to being hurt, your heart has been hurt so many times because you trusted too much, too soon.  Your patience or lack of patience is a serious thing that affects so many areas of your life.  If you can get a handle on that one thing it will save you much heartache and pain.  Yes part of it is the mania but it is something you can work on controlling.  It will not be easy but it will save you so much grief.

Sometimes holding on to something and not being patient feels so heavy and it weighs on my mind.

Distract your mind, that is how you will be able to be more patient.  Turn the page, divert your attention, change the subject and when it comes back do it again.  Soon you will be able to do it and it will become more natural and the heaviness of the 'thing' will lighten up.  You know your self control is weak, so you have to compensate for it until it gets stronger.  The power is in your mind.

I served you and not once did I disobey your orders

Luke 15:1-3, 11-32

Thank you Lord, for your Mercy

Tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to Jesus, but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."  So to them Jesus addressed this parable.  "A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father, 'Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.'  So the father divided the property between them.  After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings and set off to a distant country where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation.  When he had freely spent everything, a severe famine struck that country, and he found himself in dire need.  So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens who sent him to his farm to tend the swine.  And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed, but nobody gave him any.  Coming to his senses he thought, 'How many of my father's hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger.  I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers."'  So he got up and went back to his father.  While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.  His son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son.'  But his father ordered his servants, 'Quickly, bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Take the fattened calf and slaughter it.  Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found.'  Then the celebration began.  Now the older son had been out in the field and, on his way back, as he neared the house, he heard the sound of music and dancing.  He called one of the servants and asked what this might mean.  The servant said to him, 'Your brother has returned and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'  He became angry, and when he refused to enter the house, his father came out and pleaded with him.  He said to his father in reply, 'Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends.  But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf.'  He said to him, 'My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours.  But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.'"

 I served you and not once did I disobey your orders 

Lord,

Sometimes I am like the older brother.  I look around and I see all those out there having a good time living in their sin and I resent that when they finally come to their senses, after years and years of ‘fun’, maybe all the way to their death bed.  I resent that they will receive the same reward as me who has worked and sacrificed so much for you.

Then I think of J and all those others that I love who are living that immoral life and I am so thankful for your mercy and love because I want them to be in heaven with you and with me (hopefully me)

Given to a people that will produce its fruit

Matthew 21:33-43, 45-46

with deep roots, you will weather the storms

Jesus said to the chief priests and the elders of the people:   "Hear another parable.  There was a land owner who planted a vineyard, put a hedge around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a tower.  Then he leased it to tenants and went on a journey.  When vintage time drew near, he sent his servants to the tenants to obtain his produce.  But the tenants seized the servants and one they beat, another they killed, and a third they stoned.  Again he sent other servants, more numerous than the first ones, but they treated them in the same way.  Finally, he sent his son to them, thinking, 'They will respect my son.' But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another, 'This is the heir.  Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.'  They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him.  What will the owner of the vineyard do to those tenants when he comes?"  They answered him, He will put those wretched men to a wretched death and lease his vineyard to other tenants who will give him the produce at the proper times."  Jesus said to them, Did you never read in the Scriptures:

The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes?

Therefore, I say to you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people that will produce its fruit."  When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they knew that he was speaking about them.  And although they were attempting to arrest him, they feared the crowds, for they regarded him as a prophet.

Given to a people that will produce its fruit

Lord,

I want to produce fruit.  Help me Lord,, to overcome the droughts, the floods, the insects that swarm me and devour me, help me weather the winds that seek to pull me out from my roots.

Lord, I know all of those things make me stronger, even the dogs peeing on me make me more humble. 

Lord, I want to produce good fruit but how can I when I am spending so much energy trying to stay rooted and upright?

That alone is making you stronger.  The strength it takes to stand tall when the winds are blowing others horizontally is making you stronger.

You may not bear fruit this season but when the storm is over and your roots grow deeper, you will become more and more stable and strong and will be able to withstand a monsoon and a tsunami.  Others will hold on to you as the fierce winds blow them around.  Your leaves may blow off but your branches, your trunk and your roots will stay intact and you will bloom and bear fruit another day.  So don’t worry about today, just keep your eyes on me and I will carry you through any and all storms. 

So many miracles

All that matters is that you are there, Lord

Luke 16:19-31
Jesus said to the Pharisees:  "There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen and dined sumptuously each day.  And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps that fell from the rich man's table.  Dogs even used to come and lick his sores.  When the poor man died, he was carried away by angels to the bosom of  Abraham.  The rich man also died and was buried, and from the netherworld, where he was in torment, he raised his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.  And he cried out, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me.  Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am suffering torment in these flames.'  Abraham replied, 'My child, remember that you received what was good  uring your lifetime while Lazarus likewise received what was bad; but now he is comforted here, whereas you are tormented.  Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours.'  He said, 'Then I beg you, father, send him to my father's house, for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they too come to this place of torment.'  But Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the prophets.  Let them listen to them.'  He said, 'Oh no, father Abraham, but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'  Then Abraham said, 'If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded if someone should rise from the dead.'"

So many miracles

Lord,

How is it that you give us so many miracles and we do not hold on to them?  It seems that I can always talk myself out of what I know to be true.  I wonder how my mind will work when I rid myself of the demon that has been residing inside me for so long. 

Lord, I am not afraid of anything but losing my relationship with you.  That is all that truly matters.  Lord, help me and never leave me. 

Mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus ....wishing to ask him for something

Gifts from the Lord are meant to be used

Matthew 20:17-28
As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the Twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, "Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day."

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, "What do you wish?" She answered him,
"Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom." Jesus said in reply, "You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?" They said to him, "We can." He replied, "My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus summoned them and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus ....wishing to ask him for something

Lord,
This mother loved her sons and she had the courage to ask for what she desired. She did not know what a big deal it was, what she was asking for and his answer was no, but the did not ridicule her or her sons. In fact he looked to those who mocked them and said they were all there to serve, the least would be the first and the first would be the last.

Maybe that's why you pick nobodies like me to do big things. You give them gifts that others don't have, gifts that you want and expect them to use.

Lord, I do not know what you want from me. What has happened this week has thrown me off. I do not understand and I do not understand how it can benefit me in whatever you want from me. I do not fear but I also do not understand


You will

Lord, you give me that answer so often. But most often it has happened and I have to trust that all this will come together for your glory.