he has looked with favor on his lowly servant...the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name

Luke 1:39-56

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He has looked with favor on his lowly servant...the Almighty has done great things for me, and holy is his Name

Lord,

You have done great things for me, a nobody. I will quit asking you why. I know why. There is nothing more for me to do except accept your gifts and follow your will. I know this is you and it is where you are leading me and where you want to use me. I do not need to ask why any more. Lord, forgive me for asking why so often. I know it has taken up so much energy and so much time. I believe it is the evil ones who have been trying to distract me. They have been taking me by the shoulders and turning me away from you every chance they get, when they have seen me going toward you, following the path you have for me, they distract me with all the trash , things taht do't matter. They have filled me with their lies.

Just being aware has given them has given you so much power, power agains them and power to walk in my ways. You know their voices. You know their lies. You know the feelings and residue they leave you with and leave behind. Now is the time to quit looking back at them and listening to them and even answering them for nay reason. You know how ignoring feels. You know the power of being the object of being ignored. that is what you are to do to them, yes they will not like it and will become angry at your response or lack of response and yes, they will try harder but sooner or later, they will give up that game. They will move on so you must also be prepared for that and keep your eyes on me. Every time you are aware that it is them, you have to rebuke them and send them to me and move your eyes back to mine. You will not make them go away permanently but you can bind them and send them on their way and not allow them back, not give them any power when they come back. You can shut the door and not answer it when they come calling. It is up to you alone. You have the grace.

Mark 10:32-45

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Lord,

I see that you have specific words for specific people, that you select people at your whim to do certain things and to share certain truths with.

Lord, these men, these apostles were not great until you made them great.  They were nobodies.  They all had real imperfections and their personalities where all different.  It does seem like the worst became the best, or at least the ones who are mentioned more, the ones who's actions stood out.  lord, help me rid my head of all the negative thoughts that come from the evil ones.  I struggle so much with them.  I so often listen to their lies and I believe them.  I entertain them.  I let them grow.

Lord, how do I stop it?

The negative comes from them.  Even if it comes from you, it came from them originally.  You know that even when I tell you something you don't want to hear, it does not sting.  You feel the love in which I use, I am, I have for you.  Love and peace come with my words, no matter what they are, words of consolation or correction.What have I been telling you?  Look for the peace.  If there is no peace it is not from me and it its not from me, don't accept it, reject it.

love one another

Unconditional Love

John 15:9-17

Jesus said to his disciples: "As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love.

"I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. This I command you: love one another."

 love one another

Lord,

I was shocked when FA told me I didn't love others.  I was shocked because I thought I did so much for others that I was very loving.  But of course, I mislead myself.  I made judgments, held grudges, remembered every way someone had sinned against me and I weighed it along with their words and actions to decide if I should trust or believe them.  I wanted to show I was right.  I wanted their understanding.  I was self centered.  I was self righteous.  I held on to the letter of the law without discerning the spirit of the law.  I always looked for a loophole or a back door for my escape.  I know there are plenty other ways I have not loved.

Lord, Every single one of those things take a lot of work to overcome and I have tried, but I often fail, very often.  That is a long list of 'wrongs' that I really struggle with.  It takes constant awareness to keep from going back to the way I was with no care for those actions and for committing them without batting an eye.

How do I love like you love or at lease the way you want me to love?  Lord, I ask for the grace to do this because I love you and I want to please you and I know that I cannot love you fully unless I love them fully.

I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain

This is My Body

John 15:9-17

Jesus said to his disciples: "As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love."

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy might be complete. This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father. It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. This I command you: love one another."

I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain

Lord,
I am here in my favorite place on earth, with you in this DIY Eucharist chapel. Lord, my heart starts to flutter as I was driving here tonight. It seems like its been so long since I've been here, but I know it hasn't. Being here with you melts my heart.

OMG, this is what I was thinking about just a bit ago. Tat doubt that I seem to be unable to shake off of me follows me like my shadow. Help me fight the evil voices that taunt me, that work so hard to keep me from you and your peace.

You have chosen me, Me, for something. You have chosen me for this gift of hearing you so clearly. Lord, help me hold on to the faith and belief that it is you. I know you have given different people different gifts and it is solely at your discretion. You have chosen me and you desire I accept, embrace and use it the way you've intended me to. Lord, what is that? What do you want from me?

To do great things.

Like what?

I want you to share me with others.
OK Lord, that seems pretty generic.

I have something more specific in mind. My body, I want you to bring it to people. Not Holy Communion but My Body, the good news about My Body, the truth about My Body to others, first to those who should know but don't, then to others. So many people do not know or believe that I am here in the flesh on earth waiting for them to come to me. They do not believe. I want you to help them believe.




Lord, how do I do that? Really?




You have the tools, I've given them to you. Speak the truth wherever you go. Do not worry what they will think of you.




I am the only one that it matters what they believe about me. That belief is the difference between life and death for them and for you. That is a very important role. As you obey and increase your influence and gain confidence in the truth and share that truth unashamedly, your territory will increase. I want everyone to come to me in the Eucharist. I want them all to know that I am with them, not only spiritually but bodily as well. I am God and you are the only one here with me tonight. I am God and no one is here! Bring them to me!




Lord just show me how and show me who and show me when.

I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you....If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you

John 15:18-21

Jesus said to his disciples: "If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you. Remember the word I spoke to you, 'No slave is greater than his master.'
If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours. And they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know the one who sent me."

I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you....If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you

Lord,

I know you have chosen me for something that only I can do, you've been preparing me for something only I can do.  But I do not know what that is.

You won't know until it's time.

I want to be able to take the persecution with joy because I am doing it for you.  But I do not.  I feel like a victim.  I get my feelings hurt.  I get angry.  Lord, remind me in those times that it is not about me and my pride, but about you.  Those are the times when I am suffering with you.  Lord, I know it is better to be persecuted for you than to be admired for selfishness and vanity.  I know those things but I still enjoy the praise.   Lord, where is the line between vanity and experiencing the joy of being better than I once was?  I should rejoice in the changes you have made in me and share your goodness and yet I feel proud when I do and then I feel bad. I know I am supposed to share the gospel but also to share the goodness of your mercy and grace and all that you have done for me.  Why is it still so hard for me to believe all that's happened?

Your mind has not caught up with your spirit.  Just like you still see yourself as fat, you still see your soul and spirit the way it was.  You must accept and embrace who you are now, who you are in me and what you have become.  False humility is not the way to go.  Denying the truth is not the way to go.  Embrace and share what I have done for you.  Give glory where it belongs and you will not come across as proud and when you are being selfless in your sharing, that is true humility because it is not about you, but me, what I have done in your life.  I want all to come to me and your good news and sincere humility will bring them to me.

The Advocate, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name--he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you."

You can step out of  the noose any time you choose

John 4:21-26

Jesus said to his disciples: "Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the one who loves me.
Whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and reveal myself to him." Judas, not the Iscariot, said to him, "Master, then what happened that you will reveal yourself to us and not to the world?"
Jesus answered and said to him, "Whoever loves me will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him. Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me.

"I have told you this while I am with you. The Advocate, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name--he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you."

The Advocate, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name--he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you."

Lord,
I still doubt and fear.  I am so sorry.  I want so much to trust and just let go but something holds me back.

The devil holds you back.  He knows how close you are and he knows your weaknesses, confidence in yourself, fear, perfectionism, doubt, ridiculed, being judged...  Those are barriers to letting go.  Your lack of trust is mostly in yourself.   Look at the fruit.  I know you fear that he may be the one who speaks to you, to fool you.  You are suspicious and so afraid of being wrong that you will not allow yourself the freedom to let go and trust, believe and to be wrong.  You fear the loss of self control so much that you keep a tight reign on yourself.  And when you wonder too far from the security of what you actually believe, you almost choke yourself and instead of cutting off what binds you, you run back to the safety and discomfort of what is familiar rather than taking a chance at being right.  You will not win the battle until you believe you can.  You have to have resolve in your heart .  You have to want the freedom more than the comfort of the binds that have left you with scars around your neck.  You are so tightly held around you neck, that you can hardly breath sometimes.

Lord, what is holding me back from completing the script on the Eucharist?  

Fear, doubt, the same things that hold you back from the success you seek in all areas.  You have been successful in your weight loss and now you live in constant fear and doubt that you can maintain it.  The next step to insure that is exercise and you resist. it. 

Why do I resist it?

You do not like it, you are lazy with things you do not enjoy.,  You procrastinate than you regret.

Procrastination and avoidance is your barrier with the things you need to do but do not want to do,.  You do those things I ask when they do not directly affect you personally.  You still hold on to what is easy and comfortable in those areas.  Believing the diet was easy made it easy.  Believing in success in these areas will do the same, try it.

ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples

You brought me through the storm, Lord

John 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples: "I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower. He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit, and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit. You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you. Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire and they will be burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples."

 ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples

Lord,

I was just thinking about J.  I have been asking for her return for years now.  I was thinking, Lord, where is she?  Then I heard you say, "It does not say when.  That is not part of the promise."  You have helped me through this.  I was so broken hearted and fearful when I saw her fall away from you and as I've seen her get farther and farther rather than closer.  I have often been deeply hurt and fearful and I find it so difficult to hold on to the hope in your promise to bring her back.  Lord, I am watching her get farther still and she even rejects you, your word and your church, all that she once held close to her heart.  In the times that I become more aware of her rejection, I feel a stabbing pain in my gut and I am not only disappointed in her but in you as well.  I want her back in your arms now.  Lord, but I know that I don't get to demand anything and get it.  Right now, today I believe that your timing is perfect.  I trust your promise to me and I will try so hard to hold on to the hope and go forward in confidence in you.  I do not have a clue how you do it, but I know you always come through.  You have brought me through such a horrendous storm, one that was so thick at times that I could not see my hand in front of my face.  As I sit here and look back, I regret all the time I spent in doubt and disbelief and in self pity.  I have been so self centered that sometimes it is hard to look outward while I was so self absorbed, I neglected everything around me.  I judged others as shallow and made it all about me.

It's okay, you are through it now.  You can handle all that comes at your now.  You have a strength you did not have two years ago.  Your footing is on solid ground.  You will not crumble in the future the way you did in the past.  You've already seen that fruit with C.  Two years ago it would have devastated you.  You would have been angry, self righteous, unforgiving and you would feel like and act like a victim.   Now you have acknowledged it, felt the pain and moved on while you keep praying for her conversion and desire to heal.  That never would have happened two years ago.

Whoever has seen me has seen the Father

Lord, never let me go

John 14:7-14



Jesus said to his disciples: "If you know me, then you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him." Philip said to Jesus, "Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us." Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own. The Father who dwells in me is doing his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me, or else, believe because of the works themselves. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes in me will do the works that I do, and will do greater ones than these, because I am going to the Father. And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it."

Whoever has seen me has seen the Father

Lord,

When this all started two years ago I had such a difficult time seeing , trusting and approaching the Father. Now even though I do not understand, I feel more confident in Him and in my relationship with Him.  I see Him in you and He is quiet.  He is patient.  He waits for me to come to Him.   and He is not hurt by my distancing myself from Him.  He knows the neglect, the abuse and the fear that kept me from him.  He has watched as I have worked on conquering those things.  He has held me up and picked  me up at times.  Lord, I have more love and trust in Him than ever before, yet I still stand off.  I guess I have not really completely healed.  I get the fear of rejection still when I have dealings with a priest.  I know that the Father has never rejected me and yet that one  experience has left a mark so deep that two years later it still has some control over me.  Lord, I want so desperately to overcome that fear.  I guess I have narrowed down exactly what my fear is or at least what it is now.  Maybe it hasn't changed.  My fear is still that they will be mean and reject me.  Even though I am over the A thing, there is a residual effect still clinging on.

That will not always be there, it will fade in time.  It will fade as you trust and your experience shows that you can trust again.  Remember they are just human mean and they can be as insensitive as anyone else.  They generally are more sensitive and caring but they have all the same limitations as anyone else plus there are many pulling at them, like th crowds that gathered around Jesus, just wanting to be touched and healed by Him.  These men do not have that kind of power yet.

Lord, help me keep the right perspective and do not expect them to be you or even like you.  I know they cannot. Help me lover my standards and my expectations, Lord.

I will and you will.