"Follow me and let the dead bury their dead"

Quit looking for trouble, it will find you

Matthew 8:18-22

"Follow me and let the dead bury their dead"

Lord,

This has confused me until I heard someone say that the dead in Christ are the dead and you are asking that disciple to follow him and don’t be concerned for the dead. But that still doesn’t make sense. Are we not supposed to lead the dead to you?

Not at the cost of not following me yourself. Following me comes first. The rest will take care of itself.
That makes perfect sense, Lord. You have to be the focus of everything I do. I get caught up in the peripherals and lose my focus, my purpose, my reason for everything.

Lord, that has kept me in an endless loop of straying ‘out there’, looking around ‘out there’, looking for problems to fix ‘out there’ instead of focusing on you, on the path that I am one and allowing whatever you want me to work on to come to me. I have been impatient and gone looking for trouble and in doing so I always find it. Lord, what is my problem?

You are overzealous in your attempt to be perfect an to ‘knock’ it all out. You fail to remember why you are doing it all and you miss the point. You don’t have to go looking for trouble, defects, and shortcomings. They will come looking for you when it’s time for you to face them. When you have the grace and the tools to deal with them. Do not worry that you will run out of problems or what you call personal defects to work on. You won’t but you are taking on too many unnecessarily and you are overloading yourself in a way that brings you stress and a sense o failure. That is not what I want for you. I want peace, love and joy for you and you cannot get that when you are constantly seeking turmoil. You are so driven that you are rejecting my gifts of peach love and joy. You do not take time for it. And that is rejecting my gifts, which doesn’t make me happy. So your quest to fix it all now is actually counterproductive. In your effort to please me, to finish ahead of time you are not doing what is pleasing to me. You are not fulfilling my will for you at that time.

He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!”

Letting go is scary

Mark 5:21-24, 35-43

He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!”

What?

Look at the miracle itself.

Lord, you are taking me by the hand and asking me or telling me to rise. You are saving me from the death that has consumed me for so long. You are holding out your hand to me and I am refusing to take it. Why Lord, why am I refusing?

Trust, you don’t trust. You are still afraid to let go of what is holding you down. You know it has a hold on you, but you are afraid of the unknown. You have to let go of the ‘known” to receive the unknown. The unknown is life, a life you have never allowed yourself to have, a life I want to give you. My heart aches for you, the pain that you hold on to. When will you allow me to hold you, guide you, love you and take care of you?

Lord, I want it now but the fear is still stronger. Help me let it go. I am holding on so tight that my knuckles are white. Lord you have permission to pry it out of my hands if that is what it takes.

the Lord had shown his great mercy

Luke 1:57-66, 80

click for reading

the Lord had shown his great mercy

Lord, I want to trust, help me trust

Lord,
You have shown your mercy toward me over and over. You have sent people into my path to affirm your love and mercy. What do I do to accept it fully and love myself?


You are doing it slowly. Be patient. You want all these things as soon as you become aware of them. That is no different than praying for some material thing and not wanting to wait for it. I will give you what is good for you always. i am God, I know the timing. I know when something is good for you and I know when you are ready and when you are not. It is not a fault not to have it all. I do not expect perfection and neither does anyone else.


Fr L was right, this life is a journey. Please get that you give yourself the grief that you give yourself with you r impatience. I can do all things. But you have to do your part or there is no lesson and the value is diminished.


Lord, give me the grace.


You already have it. Just be patient and it will be yours. Rest in that promise the way you rest in my promise they way you rest in my promise with J. You have no control there and you have no control here. It is all in my hands. Trust my hands.


You hesitate when Fr L asked you if you trusted him. You have that same trust for me. You hesitate and have to think about it. One day you won't. It will become natural and immediate.


Fr L is the one I want you to work with to regain trust in my priests to overcome your fear.


Lord, that puts something like fear, but not exactly, it's something less intense than fear, into my heart. What if I am not hearing you right and I only get farther from the goal?


Trust is the key to all of this. You also must trust his words. Doubt is from the evil one. You know what you know. Stop second guessing it. If you are wrong, I will let you know. The evil one drives you crazy with doubt and fear. Don't let him. THAT is all in your hands, control that!

Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all

My servant

Matthew 6:24-34

click for reading

Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all....all these things will be given you besides


Lord,
You know everything. I know you know everything. Help me Lord,to remember this and trust that you will know my needs and provide for them.

Lord, my head tells me that all is for my good. Show me/tell me how these demons are for my good.

They will help you help others. That is what you are here for, to help others.

Was there on some other way, Lord?

Yes but this is the way I chose. It will make you more knowledgeable, more compassionate, more loving and understanding to those who need your help. I already told you this is a lesson and education that doesn't come from a book or a class. I want you to know what you are dealing with. The devil is very illusive. He is sneaky and can make you believe all kinds of lies. He can make you doubt yourself and me. He wants you to focus on all the little things because it keeps your eyes off me and it keeps you from noticing him. He is more free to prowl around without your awareness. The more hidden he is, the more damage he can do. That is why you must reject the lies. Be strong, don't forget. You will have the grace but you must resist the lies and when that whirlwind of negativity comes, you must resist and rebuke. That is the instant that makes the difference between life and death in the pit.

Lord, help me remember this when the darkness strikes.

And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be

I'm tired of being alone in this pit

Matthew 6:7-15

click for reading

Jesus said to his disciples: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal. But store up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

"The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness. And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be."


And if the light in you is darkness, how great will the darkness be

Lord,
There was complete darkness for so long. You brought it out and the light filled in the spaces it left.
Lord, they are trying to push your light out. I now know it's them. I was thinking taht they were undercover, deep below the surface but now that I have started to think they are gone, they are back the way they've always been. They are in there like worms crawling around, slithering around deep inthe crevices looking for a place to attack. And they find it but they slowly do their damage so they can sneak up on me. And before I know it, they are there with their friends, shouting in my head, telling me lies and making me doubt.

Lord, you've shined your light on them and they are in shock. Your blaring light shocks them. Lord, chase them away. I want to be inside my head with only you and only me.

I know you placed mania in my path to guide me.

Lord, help me hear your voice. Lord, drown out their voices with yous. Remind me when I forget aht I have the power through you.

My God, fill me wiht your love. Help me know and feel and be confident with no doubts in you and your love.

lead us not into temptation

click for today's gospel reading

Lord, let me know when

Thursday June 21
 Matthew 6:7-15

 
 lead us not into temptation

Lord,

I'm sitting here wondering what's up with these demons. They have calmed down. It's like they aren't even here anymore.

They want you to think they are gone and forget about them. They are hiding. The deliverance prayers are what agitate them. They are hiding. Do not let them fool you.

Lord, what do I do?

Just wait and be patient. Their time will come.

I don't want to deal with this anymore. I'm tired of it.

I know you are and they're counting on it.

Lord, I feel like you are moving to Fr L for confession. He is kind of tough. I'm not sure I trust him yet. I'll have to see how he is with mercy and compassion. I need someone who will make me accountable but who will also show mercy, love and forgiveness, not his but yours.

Fr M has been gentle but maybe I'm ready to move to someone who will also help me address the areas I need to improve on. I think he can and will but I have to be ready. I still have some fear. So I'll wait and not be rash.

Lord, let me know when it's time to change.

love your enemies

Help me let go

Matthew 5:43-48

click here for gospel reading

love your enemies

Lord,

How do I love my enemy? Who are my enemies? C? I don't feel like I consider her an enemy but I am afraid to be around her.

Lord, show me who my enemies are. There are those I don't like or am uncomfortable around. As I think of it, its out of not feeling good enough or fear that they look down on me. Lord, how do I over come this. He, Fr L says it's pride and I believe it. I understand it but how do I get rid of it?

Keep praying and rejecting it. I will take care of you. i am here . I am always here. Trust me and believe me and accept me, accept my love. Trust me. Give me control. You know you don't have control and that makes you try harder. He's right let go. Letting go is the only way to find peace. I will help you.